It's all about ... THEM!

It began with a question on a text.
“Can you call the school and order me the paperwork for a parking permit for my car?”
I did and replied:
“All set no worries.”
The response was:
“Did you call?”
Sarcastic Reply:
No, I figured it out on my own, how else did I get the info?
Response:
Huh?
Reply:
Yes, I called.
Response:
What did they say?
Reply:
What I said, Don’t Worry!
Response:
Okay, but I am allowed to drive right? I won’t get in trouble?
Reply:
Yes.
Response:
Okay good, That’s all I wanted to know.
Reply:
Glad we got that settled.
Repsonse:
I just didn’t want to get in trouble.
Reply:
No Worries.
Repsonse:
Okay :)

The communication back and forth proves that in pointedly clear communication - you need to take a step back and see where the other person is coming from. In this instance the 16 year old who began the text conversation was worried sick she would get a “boot” placed on her car and so she was triple checking with her mom to make sure that she could get a permit ordered from school. She was told by friends the “boot” began that day.

When her mom called the school they told her that permits for sophomores weren’t out yet and no “boots” would go on the car until at least 2 weeks into the school year. (16 year olds are the last to get permits following Juniors and Seniors and if there are not enough - the sophomores are out of luck).

The mom sent what she thought ended the conversation “all set no worries,” but obviously, this was not enough information for the sincerely scared sophomore who thought for sure her car would be “booted” that day.

When we communicate we need to keep in mind where the other person is coming from. A stressed out teenager will need to be spoken to direct, with no sarcasm and even told repeatedly, so she or he will know you are taking them seriously.

A stressed out colleague may need to vent a bit to be able to get the day started. Your “discussion” may not be on their radar screen because they may have received a speeding ticket on the way to work.

Before jumping to conclusions about someone being rude, uninterested, angry, uncaring or unsympathetic, put yourself in their shoes and try to understand why they are acting as they are.

If you start a conversation off and think “it’s all about them” you will be amazed at how much better the conversation can go. When we open up to their needs we open up new doors that may have been closed.

It IS all about them!